Saturday, January 20, 2018

Men Sharing Affection With Each Other...

So, I've run across some images online of men being affectionate with one another, and it got me to thinking about man to man affection in my life. I am posting some of the photos I found, sticking to the vintage images.

Now, I was raised fairly formally. We were not an overly affectionate family. I mostly remember hugging Grandma or Granny when we saw them. Certainly the men did not hug other men. My Grandfather was a politician, and there was always an undercurrent of "what will people say" to our actions. I, of course, eventually rebelled against that. To this day (I'm 48) I still dye my hair purple and don't really care much what people think of me.

Now, one of the things I miss from my last relationship was the physical affection we shared. We were often affectionate, which included shirtless contact, without it leading to anything else. That was nice, and it's about the only thing I miss. It would be nice to find someone, who I like and care about, to share something similar with. The down side? All my local guy friends are heterosexual. And, for some reason, it feels almost impossible to ask for affection, where, if I wanted sex, I wouldn't hesitate. Because of my upbringing, the idea of sitting next to a friend with my arm around him or his around me feels... odd somehow. I hate that. I have experienced that, and it's nice to be able to share affection with someone, but there's that feeling too that it's somehow inappropriate.

I see images all the time of two (or more) men being affectionate, with about a third of those images involving shirtless contact. Okay, so if you're at the beach or the pool, not a biggie. But, at home, it feels inappropriate. Of course, since I'm 48 and male, society seems to make my desire for affection into something that makes me a perv. I'm isolated enough already without that being added into the mix. And I get it. If I say "hey, let's take off our shirts and be cuddly", it does sound like an attempt at low-key seduction. If I want sex and/or romance, I have no problem saying it.

With my depression issues, it's hard for me to reach out. It's hard to ask for help, or to say "I need/want this". I do hug friends hello and goodbye. Sometimes a friend's hand will linger for a moment or two on my shoulder or arm, and that's nice. I certainly don't want to be inappropriate with anyone, and I don't want anyone doing anything that makes them uncomfortable. I wish I felt more comfortable with saying "I need this" or "I want this". I never thought I needed affection very much until I was with my ex. Then, I realized that I was starved for it. That said, I'll get by.

Solutions? Well, I do need to get out more and meet some new people. Existing friends may not be the solutions, but maybe new friends are. I need to learn to speak up more. I'm certainly okay with a friend saying "no", and I respect No. If I lose a friend because I asked for affection, then maybe he wasn't really my friend to begin with. I know there are people out there who like me and care about me. I know I have friends. It often feels, with the exception of my best friend, all my other friends are online. The people I know locally, well... I reach out, ask someone to lunch or to hang out, get a "yeah, we should do that", and then nothing happens.

This was a deeply personal post. I was getting emotional as I wrote it, and I feel like I've left things unsaid. However, life goes on. I can say them in another post. Maybe I can lose some of the fears and hangups from my childhood and reach out more.

Wednesday, January 10, 2018

Doughnuts! Yummy!

So, this morning I headed out for errands... I went to the Post Office, and for the second day in a row, there was only a small line. (Yesterday, I just walked right up to a clerk - no lines!) Then, I headed over to Reddi-Arts and got some supplies, thanks to a gift certificate from my best friend. I now have more markers to play with (yay!) and more blank sketch cards to draw on! After that, I headed over to Good Dough. I love their doughnuts! 

I've been wanting to try their Fried Chicken Doughwich, and it did not disappoint. First off, let me say that I got my treats to go. It takes about 15 minutes to get home from GD, and the sandwich was still good and hot. The chicken sandwich has hot sauce and pickles on it. I'm not a fan of pickles, but the hot sauce was great. Combined with the sweet of the doughnut glaze, it made for a tasty treat. Good Dough's doughnuts are not overly sweet to begin with, so this was like getting a superior version of chicken & waffles. I really enjoyed the savory / sweet combination.

I also got several other doughnuts, and at this writing, I can attest to the yumminess of the Berry Crisp Doughnut. This is a cake doughnut with their excellent berry glaze and struesel topping. It's a tasty treat, and has me looking forward to diving into the other doughnuts I got. I got Turtle, Strawberry Cheesecake, and Creme Brulee. 

Good Dough is located in San Marco (Jacksonville, FL) on Hendricks Avenue. You have to park, and then walk, but not far. There's parking behind the store, and also in a small lot at the corner. Check them out, and treat yourself to some creative and delicious doughnuts.

Monday, December 11, 2017

Sunday, December 10, 2017

The Holidays approach...

The Holidays are coming!! Look busy!

Okay, so it's that time of year again. Having been raised Episcopalian, I do celebrate Christmas. For me, it's more a secular holiday, however. Spiritually, I celebrate the Winter Solstice. I have several Jewish friends, so I know when Hanukkah comes around as well.

Unfortunately, my folks listen to Fox News, and their "War on Christmas". Funny how this was never an issue until they came along. I think they're the ones who are waging the war. The rest of us just want to get on with our lives and enjoy the season. Folks, however you are greeted this year, please just respond with the holiday greeting of your choice. There is no need to get your knickers in a twist. People have been saying "Happy Holidays" and "Seasons Greetings" for 100 years or more! 

Anyway, at the beginning of the month, I pulled out the holiday decorations from the storage space under the stairs. Unfortunately, I also pulled a muscle in my lower back. Ouch! I've been in pain ever since. I've done this before, and I know I just have to wait it out. I'm careful when I lift, but I guess I over-reached or something. Anyway, I'm using Icy Hot and Bio-Freeze as well as moving around some. I got the decorations up, and even got the tree out from the storage unit. Now, I just have to put up the tree and decorate it. Traditionally, we put up the tree 7-10 days before Christmas, so I've got time to get it in place!

I went to the dermatologist last week. I've got "housewive's eczema"! It comes from using cleaning products, washing dishes (we have no dishwasher), etc... I've got ointment, and I'm changing my routine a bit. The worst part of this was they sent me to Costco, in an attempt to save me some money on the medicine. Never again. I waited, and waited, and waited to find out the coupon I was given wouldn't be honored. I was there, so I got the medicine there, but had to wait some more for it. Here I am, waiting at Costco...

In addition, Costco is a chaotic mess! I couldn't get out of there fast enough! I've been to Costco about three times now. Each time, it's just a hot mess. While I see some variation from what I see at BJ's (or Sam's), I ultimately don't see much difference. I'd like the store better if it weren't so crowded and chaotic every time I went there. BJ's can get busy, but BJ's busy isn't as bad as the daily chaos at Costco. 
There's not much else going on at the moment. Just trying to get through the holidays. I usually deal with seasonal depression, but the back and eczema seem to be distracting from that this year. With the new year coming, I'm trying to figure out how to change up my routine a bit and get some projects finished. Wish me luck!
By the way, if you're looking for a unique gift, check out the links in my side-bar. You can get t-shirts, mugs, towels, ect... with my art and photography. You might just find something you, or that person you're trying to buy for, find really awesome!

Take Care and Happy Holidays!

Sunday, November 26, 2017

Winner! Winner! Winner!

Congratulations to Steph in PA for winning the Comic Shop Goodie Bag Giveaway!

Steph requested Sonic The Hedgehog as her original sketch card! I had fun drawing Sonic. I've never drawn him before. The card is pictured above!

I hope that Steph enjoys her card, the comics, and everything else in this goodie bag!

A big Thank You to Gotham City Limits for donating prizes! Check them out here:

If you want to see more of my sketch cards, go to:  You can also see them at (warning: I post my beefcake photography there too, but it's all divided into sections so you can just view what you want.) 

Another big Thank You goes out to everyone who entered the giveaway! You are all amazing!

Take Care!

Sunday, November 12, 2017

Cosplay Photo-Shoot

I had a photo-shoot with my friend Tim yesterday. Tim does a wicked Constantine cosplay, which inspired an idea or two for me, so we got together and did a photo shoot. Here are a couple of photos, both untouched and altered...

Friday, November 3, 2017

A Running Jump

My latest painting is called "A Running Jump". I chose this name because I took a running jump at a painting technique. So, this is a "pour" painting. I often pour paint directly on canvas, and then manipulate it. This time, I tried it a different way. I'm happy with the results of this method, and want to try it again.

If you're interested in the original painting, it is up in my Etsy store:
You can also find the painting available as t-shirts, prints, pillows, etc... in my Society6 store:

Thanks for checking out my new work. I hope everyone has a great weekend!