So, I'm gonna put it out there up front. I'm very attracted to Asian men. Specifically Thai, Japanese, and Filipino men. That said, to me, the "right man" is more about who he is as a person and not what his ethnicity is. I also like men with hairy chests, but chest hair isn't a recommendation for dating.
I just read an interesting article about Asian men not being considered attractive. Check it out: https://psmag.com/social-justice/why-are-asian-men-less-eligible-on-tinder
I think it's a shame that so many dismiss Asian men. Honestly, I think it's a shame to dismiss someone based on ethnicity. As a photographer, my work has been about showing men as being sexy and attractive. I've worked with a variety of men from 19 to mid-60's, various builds, and various ethnic backgrounds. Most of who I work with has been dictated more by who responds to my requests over who I'm choosing. What I'm trying to say is: even though I'm human and have my preferences, I've found that there are a lot of sexy men out there!
If you've read my blog before, you know that I'm obsessed with Thai BL Dramas. Watch one or two on YouTube sometime. You will see some good looking young men, and even some of the "dads" and "teachers" are hot.
So, I've put myself out there. I've been on various dating sites, probably since they got started. It hasn't done much for me. Most men on these sites want to meet up for sex, even if they say otherwise. I tend to "move slowly". This is for a couple of reasons. 1) it helps to weed out the spammers. 2) it also helps to deselect those who only want sex. Sadly, most everyone looses interest. That's okay though. I'd rather wait for the right guy than settle for the wrong one.
Now, as I started out, I'm attracted to Asian men. I think, across several different apps, I've found less than 5 in my area. None of them were interested, which is fine. Just because I show interest in someone does not mean they have to show it in me. I do get to chat with some guys internationally, though that fizzles out after a while. I (desperately) want to go to Thailand, but since I have no set date for that, what's the point in having an international e-mail pal? I do like the idea of getting to know someone online, but a lot of people don't see the point if there's no payoff in the near future. I honestly understand that.
So, where, as a 52 year old gay white male, do I meet age-appropriate Asian men, who are local to me? Obviously, I should go out to the bars, but to be honest, that holds zero appeal to me. I don't drink, for starters, and I never really met anyone at a bar who has stuck around in my life. Of the people I met in bars in my early to mid 20's, only three or four are in my life... as Facebook friends. I know that I should try Meet-Up, and go with the attitude of meeting new friends. Covid kind of put me off that idea, as did my natural shyness. I've even thought about starting a Meet-Up group of my own - maybe something centered around my love for Thai BLs.
So, dating can be difficult. This is just a fact of gay life, I suppose. It's something that I don't like. Most of the online gay dating centers around sex - even the sites that say they're about relationships. I've had many men tell me some form of "you are not my fantasy", including 4 who actually said those words! That was before I turned 40! Yikes! Ok, so I don't look like a gay porn star, but I don't look like I crawled out from under the bridge either. And give me a break! Most people would not want their fantasies to come true. Sure, it's nice to think about Guy X in Situation Y, but the reality would be far different. If nothing else, it just wouldn't live up to the fantasy.
I know I need to do more work in reaching out, and putting myself out there to meet people. Sadly, dating is not the only goal in my life and it tends to be lower on the list of priorities.
So, what's the point of this? Mainly, don't dismiss anyone. No, you don't have to date someone you just flat out don't find attractive, but maybe you need to give some guys a chance. This applies to everyone, regardless of gender or sexuality. Stop focusing on a fantasy, or on the idea of someone being "perfect". Focus on the people you meet, or have the opportunity to meet.
That's all folks! I think my rant is done for now. Take Care!
Korey
ps: the pic is from a recent trip to Walt Disney World's Hollywood Studios. Yes, I was careful! I went with my best friend for the day, and we had a great time!
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