i dimmed the light

i opened up a drawer today
    bracelets and beads and jewelry spilled out
the things i had hidden away that day
                         the day that you hurt me yet again
                                               the day that the hurt was too much
and the jewelry began to wear me down
it was too heavy
too much
you could not handle my light, so i dimmed myself down

slowly, i added jewelry back into my life
and you have not been part of my life for nearly a year now
                        or has it been more?
     you were checked out even when you were here
always tap tap tapping on that goddam phone
          tapping out lies so you wouldn't have to face the light

i found the stash of bracelets, and felt that hurt rush back over me
like tepid water in the bath
i sorted thru, greeting my old friends
i put one on, and turned up the lights

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